Why is it whan you're growing up, the idea of struggling with your identity is a big issue? The very thought of finding out who you are, who you want to be, what you want to do with your life is one of the biggest decisions that we all had to make in our lives.
Society has told us that your gentialia defines your identity as either male or female at birth. As for what you do with your life after that depends on your social status, personal goals, financial status, and the environment in which you grew up in. While these factors play a rold in deciding who or what you want to be, education plays a huge part in deciding whether or not you're an engineer, astronaut, pilot, doctor, or digging ditches... During the teen years your teachers, professional counselors and parents guide you in what you can potentially achieve in life. However, having said that, your life really depends only on one thing... you!
I have mentioned that all my life I have struggled with myself on who I really am... a male or a female, and what career field I would choose for my life. I've had to face many obstacles to get to the point where I am today. I have had, like many of you, to work extra hard in trying to overcome my own personal struggles to obtain a higher education, excellent job skills, and a personal life that is in harmony with who I really am.
I will confess that it has not been easy being me and living my truth... as I see it. When I first thought about coming out of of my "closet" a dear sweet friend, Vanity Wilde, told me that "I would really find out who my true friends are." She was right... brutally right about that! I have, like so many other transgender individuals, watched long-time friends and family discard Marlene and I like trash. I have been told by so-called Christians that I am bound for hell and showed me the ugly side of what God really called them to be.
I made it very clear that while I'm trying to live my life openly and honestly as possible, these good "Christian folk" are my staunchest enemies... as if they have the power or the right to judge me and then condemn Marlene and I to a life in hell without hope. I suggest that if all of us would really be truthful and take an honest look at ourselves, we would be an example to others that God called us to be in the life of Christ...
As Vanity shared with me, "You've had to struggle with yourself all these years to find your real identity, now isn't it ironic that you have to fight everyone else just to be you..." This reminded me of the words of the Psalmist who wrote:
"For you have created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mothers womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalms 139:13-16
I want to make one thing very clear... "God is not mocked or surprised by my wanting to live my life as a female! Then why should I have to fight you in order to just be me?"
