In the Beginning

Growing up as "Chuck"

I was born in Houston on April 21, 1960 and I grew up as the second child of four in a small southeast Texas town called Vidor. Just like all other kids, I grew up as a typical boy who was heavily involved in sports and working with animals - including my attempt at riding a bull. My "professional" bull riding days were over in three seconds after the chute door opened!

Unlike other high school students, I worked at the local airport where I was encouraged by Lee Sheffield to learn to fly. I obtained my private pilots licenses during my Junior year. I can still recall the days of flying over pep rallies, taking friends flying, and running plane parts all over the state of Texas.

The one secret I kept deep inside is that after my family was asleep at night, I would get up and put on my sister's bra and panties so I could pretend I was a female. I would then lay in bed and pray to God that He would somehow change me into a girl. After returning my sister's lingerie back to her room, I would then feel very guilty and ashamed of what I had done, and wished God would take this from me.

Throughout my life, in order to fight my feelings of wanting to be a female, I tackled everything macho to make me feel masculine. This led to numerous problems with people around me, many fights, and finding other avenues to express myself as a male. However, nothing worked...

I remember a day after I was laid off from Vought Aircraft, I decided to join the Air Force to run away from my feminine ways. To no avail, I secretly cross-dressed to feel the softness of wanting to live as a female. My feelings for femininity became stronger even as I tried to hide it.

I married the first time to Kym to finally attempt to destroy all my feelings about wanting to be female. After several years of marriage, my struggle to become feminine continued to haunt me and I found myself trying on Kym's clothes while she was at work. This made me feel very soft and feminine to see myself in sexy lingerie, and then would complete it by wearing one of her dresses and heels! Once I removed her clothes, the same old guilty feelings would occur and I would volunteer to fly dangerous missions all over the world to make me feel like a "real man."

When the first Gulf War started, I volunteered to fly combat and support missions deep into Iraqi air space and bring vital cargo to troops in Saudi Arabia. During this war, my secret was kept well hidden from myself and others. It wasn't until my near fatal neck injury occurred that I realized my ego as Chuck was trying to kill myself and my unfulfilled need to be female. When I was medically retired from the Air Force, my soon-to-be ex-wife discovered my secret of wanting to be a female and the marriage was over.

After the divorce, I moved back to Texas for physical and mental recovery and I found myself continually dressing as a female in secret. After finding employment in Pasadena, I met Marlene who has been my devoted wife since 1997. In April of 2005, Marlene and I were notified that my close cousin Vickie had died after a long battle with cancer. While at the viewing down in the Valley, I started having "flash backs" about my deceased military buddies, re-living when my flying partner died in my arms. Marlene knew I was re-living the horror of witnessing these deaths and took me back to the hotel to relax and de-stress.

That same night I realized that life is too short to live a lie and I told Marlene about my desire to be a female. After the initial shock, Marlene told me that I was still the person she fell in love with and married. She then got up and gave me a pair of her panties to sleep in and I was able to relax and tell her everything. This made me realize that I can depend upon Marlene and be fully honest with her and myself.

Marlene has been there beside me since I first started my transition. She has painstakingly taught me how to put on my makeup, pick out clothes for me, waited for me when I was having my breast augmentation, and still continues helping me with my female hormone replacement therapy. I love and appreciate her and just love my life with her still today.

Throughout my military career, I traveled all over the world, achieving over 18,000 hours of military international flying. I have obtained a Private Pilots licenses, an Airframe and Powerplant Mechanic Certificate, and earned my Flight Engineer Turbojet Rating. I feel sometimes that I can fly anything from a kite to a Boeing 747-400 series aircraft... well the kite not so much as the 747-400...

In addition, I have earned my Bachelor of Science degree from Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University and an Associate of Applied Science in Flight Engineering from the Community College of the Air Force while stationed at McChord Air Force Base in the state of Washington.