by Allison and Charlene
This is meant for humor and not to offend anyone...
Transsexual Humor
You might be a Transsexual...
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...if you spend more time in the lingerie department rather than tools!
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...if you find yourself comparison shopping for dresses!
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...if you know how to fix your own hair/nails/makeup!
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...if you're not embarrassed buying feminine products!
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...if you are a regular at the beauty salon!
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...if you cry when you break a nail!
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...if you ever told someone "this is not the right time of the month" to mess with me!
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...if your bra and panties match!
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...if you take Midol for growing breasts!
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...if you look in the mirror and ask "does this make me look fat?"
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...if you are told your slip is showing!
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...if you are told you are going to hell and worry about what to wear!
Drag Queen Humor
You might be a Drag Queen...
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...if you need a step ladder to get in to your platform shoes!
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...if you your hair can endanger a ceiling fan!
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...if your eyelashes can be seen from space!
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...if your dress needs a power cord!
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...if your earrings are bigger than a dinner plate!
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...if you use a trowel to put on your makeup!
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...if your breast forms are bigger than your head!
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...if the rings on your fingers keep you from lifting your hand!
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...if your nails are longer than a set of garden shears!
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...if your dress has more rhinestones than a craft store!
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...if your dress fits tighter than a vacuum-packed storage bag!
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...if the light reflecting off your dress can blind someone!
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...if you have more silicone in your body than Dolly Parton's breasts!
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...if your makeup technique comes from Pablo Picasso!
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...if your eyelashes can be used to start NASCAR races!
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...if you have ever used three bottles of hairspray in one setting to fix your hair!
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...if you ever used a curling iron to style your eyelashes!
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...if you are at a barn dance and someone yells, "Ho-Down" and you drop to the floor!
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...if your hands get stuck in your hair after you apply hairspray!
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...if you ever substituted mascara for axle grease to use on your eyelashes!
Cross Dresser Humor
You might be a Cross Dresser...
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...if you get a speeding ticket rushing home to put on your bra!
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...if you own stock in Maybelline!
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...if you have leg hair sticking out of your pantyhose!
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...if you think Mary Kay is another cross dresser!
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...if you ever used a full slip as a night gown!
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...if you forget to shave before applying makeup!
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...if you find out that planes are not the only thing with "wings!"
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...if your spouse limits your spending allowance!
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...if you really believe that, “one size fits all”!